TRUE SPEAK

BUTTERFLIES PART TWO
(original post here)

12:25pm.  In other words, I was about 25 minutes into nearly passing out from starvation. My colleague and I hustled our feet towards the building next door where they were serving chicken tacos.  She was chatting away about some work related stuff while I had my head fixated on which corner of the taco I’d attack first — the top, where it was going to be crispy yet a little hollow because all of the meat would be squished at the bottom, or the lower end, which would mean biting into it first may cause the contents of my taco to spill over.  And for a girl as famished as I was, I didn’t want a single piece of food to go to waste.  Needless to say, my brain could not process the words that were spewing out of her mouth.

We entered into the cafe and there must have been a bajillion (yes, I said bajillion) hungry faces buzzing around.  The line went around the corner with the end of it nowhere in sight.  I felt a gush of frustration wash over me.  Darn it, I want my food NOW. As I passed by every individual keeping me from getting to my tacos any sooner, I couldn’t help but snicker — but only in the privacy of my own thoughts.  My stomach, on the other hand, was not shy about it.  And while it was in the middle of a growl, I spotted the same hat and gorgeous pair of eyes 20 feet in front of me. Yes, the same human being that made my stomach churn in all the right ways just a few weeks ago.

I felt a burning inside of my heart begin to ignite.

This time though, it was literally just a heartburn — from the hunger, that is.  My surroundings did not pan into slow motion nor did any butterfly flutter ever-so-gracefully in my tummy.  Now that I had a full view of him (as opposed to a millisecond glance), he looked about a foot shorter than I had imagined in my head, more stocky than I’m typically attracted to and had more ink on his arms than I prefer.  As expected, he was nothing my imagination  — or the magical experience — made him out to be.

In the past, I’ve openly coined myself a hopeless romantic.  I never felt any shame in admitting that I have Pretty Woman, The Little Mermaid and Sweet Sixteen pretty much memorized down to the tee.  I always loved the idea of seeing that one girl who never stood a chance end up with that one unattainable, unbaggable guy everyone wanted to have. It made my heart gush.  I wanted it for myself too.

But that’s all it is.  A fantasy we make up in our love-sick heads. A few weeks ago, the scenery was perfect for what I wanted to feel at the moment. The wind gently gushing in my face, the sun shining ever so brightly and the birds chirping love songs in the air — it almost felt movie-like.  And he just so happened to step right into a perfect moment I was having.  But in as much as we aspire to live out our happily ever-afters — heck, many of us are even lucky enough to have experienced those fairy-tale like moments in relationships — we can’t get stuck to the idea that life with even the one is all rainbows, candy canes and butterflies. Life is brimming of challenges.  You will have disagreements with your spouse.  The hopes and aspirations in life that you both have dreamed of may crumble before your very eyes. Bottom line, there is no such thing as a fairy tale in the real world.

Sometimes I wish movies didn’t end with the happy couple being carried off into la-la land in their white carriage and instead, kept going even after the credits are shown and expose what really happens once they step into reality. Maybe if people wouldn’t set such high expectations on life, they may actually realize the happiness that exists all along if only they  looked around and marveled at the blessings that they already have at their fingertips. Perhaps, people wouldn’t be so busy hoping, wishing and yearning for what is a mere illusion of the perfect prince charming they’ve grown up admiring in our favorite Disney movies. 

We need to take movies for exactly what they are — entertainment.  Not a reflection of a life that could be.